Jesus, how am I significant to you?
Dear Partners,
There are many types of prayer. In this month's reflection, I decided to share one type that has been meaningful to me as I understand more about how God transforms me and uncovers the narratives that I live by. I would love to hear from you - what kind of prayer engages your heart and refreshes you?
The prayer that has impacted me is a type of listening prayer where I ask Jesus questions about how He sees me, what He loves about me, what He affirms, etc. This type of conversation with Jesus started around 8/9 years ago when I was a part of a coach training. During a coaching session, I uncovered a deep desire that I held and the coach helped me form a question to ask Jesus:
“Jesus, how am I significant to you?”
This question touched both a deep desire and a deep fear in my life. I realized that many of my actions emerged from a desire for significance. Now, I was taking this deep desire to Jesus as I wondered what He would say. Jesus brought an image to mind: I stood still with a heavy cloak around my shoulders, swallowing my body. I felt weighed down. Then the weight lifted from my shoulders as Jesus removed this dark cloak, threw it to the side, and replaced it with a warm, light, white cloak of feathers. He said, “Susan, you have tried to earn your significance through being responsible and working hard for me. I just want to be with you. You are significant to me because I love you and enjoy your presence. This cloak is light and beautiful because you are beautiful to me.”
The image and feeling of the cloak and words have stayed with me throughout the years. I continue to ask Jesus questions like: Jesus, what do you love about me today? Jesus, I feel like a failure right now; how do you see me? Jesus, what does play look like for you? As Tony Stoltzfus states in Questions for Jesus, “When you pray for your desires, you aren’t asking for any temporal thing; you are requesting an intimate, relational encounter with Jesus.” (Location 130, Kindle version)
Our desires can drive our behavior or our emotions. When we identify our deep desires and have those met relationally by Jesus, we then freely move forward in new ways or with a new perspective. Without the heavy cloak of responsibility, I began to be more confident to give up roles that took much of my time and to redirect my focus. My coach used a question for Jesus to evoke a new awareness and supported me in the process of living out of this new perspective.
It's not always easy to identify our deep desires and I have found that when I ask Jesus questions it’s good to start with “what” or “how””. He delights to tell me things about myself or my relationship with Him – just like we can affirm our friends or family for what they do for us, for our relationship with them, for what they uniquely bring to the world.
What question would you like to ask Jesus? What would it do for your soul to hear Him call you beloved, or His friend, or chosen, or pure, or…..
I would love to hear what question you want to ask Jesus or even what questions you are asking yourself!
If you are interested in learning more about this type of prayer, I listed a few online resources below. If you are interested in a coaching session around this topic or participating in a group experience that lasts 8 weeks, please let me know.
https://meta-formation.com/questions-for-jesus-app/
May you be refreshed and renewed in whatever season of life or stage of ministry you find yourself. Trusting that the God who sees us and loves us is holding you gently in these days,
Susan
Member Care Director